Day 7: Fears

At first I thought that there really isn't anything that I'm terribly afraid of but then in that same instant I found my biggest fear.

I am so terribly afraid that I won't have anymore children.

I got lucky and had one and that's going to be it for me.

I'm so worried and scared about it, in fact, that I've pretty much tried to put the idea of more children out of my mind.

And it makes me so sad.

And cry.

And ache inside because all I want in this whole world is for my beautiful, happy, funny, adventurous little boy to have is a little brother or sister (or both!) to share this world with.

I was pregnant once, after I had Liam. And excited. That little baby would have come home with us the end of last month, but it just wasn't their time to come. They were still needed elsewhere and I didn't get the privilege of caring for them. 

And I'm so afraid that it just won't happend again for me. 

I want it so much. 

But what if? 

That scares me the most.

Day 6: What I do

I am a dreamer. I think of plans and hopes and wishes of things I want to do, or accomplish, finish or learn. I like figuring ways to do things I want.

I'm a mother. I spend the majority of my time taking care of someone else. Putting his needs first, teaching, feeding, cleaning up after, playing with and loving.

I'm a homemaker. This makes me the resident chef, seamstress, laundry and cleaning lady.

I'm just a person. Trying to make it in this crazy, busy, scary world.

Day 5 : Someone I admire

Okay, now these kinds of blurbs always make me a little queasy. I mean, yeah, you love your momdadsisterbrothercat whatever. But sometimes its too much for me.

But.

I want to talk about my dad's mom

She is an awesome lady.

I love talking to her. She is so funny and smart and caring.

We got to work on a quilt together last summer and it was so much fun to get together with her every week.

And I'm pretty sure that we would have been the best of friends if we been born at the same time.

Let me tell you all the ways that we are similar:

We love McDonalds (judge if you want, but I always know what to expect when I go there)
We hate Relief Society.
Sarcasm is a second language.


I really probably could go on, but I don't need to.

I love my grandma

Day 3

Today I get to tell you about things that make me uncomfortable.

Oh man.

Awkward.

Okay, this is a weird one and I'm totally trying to work on it, but I really have a hard time making eye contact with people that I don't know well. Like, when talking to someone, I'll glance at their eyes and then try to look somewhere else. I don't know what about it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I'm perfectly aware that this probably makes me look like a serial killer/ compulsive liar. I get it. I just can't do the eye contact thing.

So if I've done this to you, just know. Its not you, its me.

I'm 100% sure that there are a plethora of other things that make me uncomfortable. But that is the only one I can think of right now.

What makes you feel uncomfortable? Or are you all so secure in everything you do that you never feel that way.

Tell me that's not true.

Day 2

Today I get to teach you something I know a lot about.

I don't really think I can say I'm an "expert" at anything. Actually, I can't. And I also don't know that I can say there is anything that I am especially good at doing that I could teach you on this here blog.

But I have learned how to get my husband to help me on home improvements. Now, I know that he hates that I have a list of things I need to do thats about 10 miles long. He doesn't like to do them. He's told me so. He's also told me that he doesn't think about things like that around our house because he thinks things are just great the way they are.

He'd be wrong about that last part... and I've told him so...

But the trick, for me, to get my husband to help me with projects is to just get started on them.

Like that time when he cam home from work and my cabinets suddenly looked like this:

Because then he has to help me finish.

He doesn't have to. But he's so awesome that he will. Even though he doesn't want to and didn't want to start the project to begin with.

So there you go.

Thats what I know how to do, pretty well.

Day 1

My Life:

I was born in Salt Lake City, and I’ve lived in Utah all my life (except for the brief stint where we lived with my Grandparents in Idaho for a little while).

We moved to Sandy when I was in 5^th grade and that’s where I say I’m from.

I graduated from high school and moved off to Snow College. Then I transferred to Utah State University and got my degree in English emphasizing in Literature. I planned to go to Taiwan and teach English pretty soon after graduation but I met this guy at the beginning of my last semester and upon being accepted into the program, he told me he didn’t want me to go (knowing that the only thing that would keep my from leaving was marriage). We got married that summer.

We lived and worked in Logan for a year and 9 months during which we experienced job loss (for the first time) and had an awesome baby boy. And then moved back to the Salt Lake Valley because we had purchased our first house.

We’ve now lived in our first house almost 2 years and have since experienced more job loss and lots of heartbreak and even more happiness.

My life is pretty fantastic.

That’s me in a nutshell.

Blog Everyday in May

What?

Okay, I mean, I guess I will.

I'm not very consistent.

I tell y'all I'll post, and I don't.

I promise pictures... that never come.

You know,

This is my blog, I'll do what I want to.

So I guess, when I saw this at Story of My LifeI figured why not. So here goes I suppose...