hope (ful)

you know that moment when life gets just a little bit too stressful to think about?

you know, you start to think,

things are going great now but...
how will this work when...
what if i don't...
what if you don't...
what if we don't...

that moment?

the one that strikes at 2 in the morning after husband just got home from work? and we're both so tired that it just happens? and it won't stop?

it seems that moment is followed by one that goes,

i found out that!!!!
they said i could do!!!
a year from now i could be!!!
a year from now you will be!!!
a year from now we will be!!!

and then suddenly all hope is restored and all those fears just seem to melt away.

i really like those moments.

ps: i just love fall.

so so tired

so i really should be sleeping but i just don't want to... well thats a lie. i do want to but i'm just so tired that it sounds like alot of work to go to bed... weird. anyway, since it is now 1:05 am on friday july 31st, i just wanted everyone to know that there are ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS until mr. man and i get married. yup. its official and if you are looking at this on july 31st, you will notice that cute little time tracker on the right hand side of the screen... it also says that there are only two weeks until my wedding day. i'm excited... i sure do love that guy.

dear time-
please go faster

dear mr. man
i love you. will you marry me?
love, emily

sick of it...

so tonight i decided to leave darrell's apartment a little earlier than usual so that he could get some sleep since we never get as much sleep as we should. by we i guess i really mean just him since i still don't have a freaking job (!!!!!!!) and he is starting to get very tired from lack of sleep. so anyway, i'm sitting on my bed minding my own business and i get a text from him saying:

him: um we should get married... I've decided i hate laying in bed alone...

yup. that was totally un-provoked. and i thought it was absolutely adorable since its true. and it made me think of all the things that i am excited to change.

1: i am so excited not to live with a bunch of girls. i hate girls. and i have weird roommates right now.
2: i am excited to sleep. i don't go to bed at regular hours mostly becuase saying goodnight totally blows!!!!!!!!!
3: i can not not not wait to sleep on the bed that mr man owns. it is probably one of the most comfortable sleeping devices i have ever seen/felt/lusted after.
4: i am so ready to be done with the singles ward. i hate it. i hate watching the awkward wierd interactions that the poor youth of the church go through. any young adult who is over 20 who doesn't understand that they are expected to look for their eternal spouse is so dumb!!!! we get it. it does not have to be the topic of every. single. lesson. drop it.
5: i am excited to interact with other married people who aren't super weird about hanging out with me because i'm soon to be married.
6: i'm tired of being excluded from the singles group of people becuase i'm not really single, but i'm not married so i don't fit in that category either.
7: and mostly i'm so excited to be married to my very best friend. he is great and i love him!!!!!

34 days!!!!

yup

i love him. he is great. and super. and wonderful. and i don't know what i would do with out him. i love his smile and his laugh and the silly little face when he thinks he is funny.

now that i have that out of my system...for now... this has been an entirely uneventful week. i still don't have a job which totally sucks but i'm remaining optimistic. three more jobs were posted on the university website today and i wrote a killer cover letter for it. hopefully they will manage to see my charm and wit shine through. on a positive note, i had an interview at a store in the mall and i'm supposed to be hearing back about that probably tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed. i need all the crossing that i can possibly get.

i have decided that summer here in logan is not nearly as dreadful as i was thinking that it would be. i know. its crazy even to me to say such insane things out loud... well sort of... but there you go. i kind of like the way the wind blows at night every night with out fail. i like the lazy feel of the world. i love going on walks with darrell around second dam. its so pretty up there.

oh boy. i can't wait for august 14th to arrive! it will be wonderful!!!!!!!!!

goodnight!

M