Norah Jane

My due date with Norah was on February 4th. She was born on February 4th. This caused me much anxiety and stress.

Let me back up.

When I was pregnant with Liam, I had high blood pressure. The whole time. From my very first appointment. They ran tests and did ultrasounds at almost every appointment to make sure he was growing correctly and the tests checked to see if I had preeclampsia. I didn't. 

I was never totally sure of when I got pregnant and so my due date was moved forward by a total of 3 weeks based on measurements. My official, ending due date was November 27th, which happened to fall on Thanksgiving. At my last appointment on November 18th, my blood pressure had jumped up pretty high and the doctor decided that it was time for me to have my baby. I started crying when I received this news. I hadn't started my maternity leave from work yet and I had things I needed to get done before I had a baby. He was pretty insistent and painted me some pretty gloom and doom pictures and basically scared me into checking into the hospital. Roughly 3-4 weeks earlier than my original due date. From the moment I checked in my blood pressure was lower than it had ever been my entire pregnancy. Labor did not go smoothly. My poor body was not ready to deliver a baby and my poor baby was not ready to be born. His heart was not responding well to contractions and I was told that if things didn't start progressing the way they "should" that I would have to have a c-section. I was scared and confused and pretty much in the dark about everything that was going on. Luckily my beautiful boy decided to come, 24 hours after check in, and was perfect. Minus his inability to start breathing on his own and the fact that he had contracted some sort of infection... from me? from...? No one every really cleared that up for me. I was able to hold him for maybe 30 seconds before he was whisked away from me and taken to the NICU and it was hours before I could see him. It was so scary. 

So having had that as my first childbirth experience, I was absolutely determined that I would ride out the pregnancy and that my baby girl would come when she was ready, not when some doctor decided that it was time. I was so careful with my weight gain, and I tried to be active and my blood pressure stayed normal! All the way until my doctors appointment in the middle of January. It was slightly higher than normal, but not high enough to be too alarming. Then at my appointment on January 31st it was even higher, 154/90 or something. The doctor didn't like that number and asked me to come back in on the 4th to have it checked again. When I went in, the nurse checked it and it came in at 161/100. Not good. And the doctor said it needed to be time. My last "check" had shown no progression towards labor and here I was being told it was time for my baby to come. Again. I was very upset and asked if I could just go home first (I needed to wash my hair, haha). I was given a check in time of 12:30 and so after finding arrangements for Liam, we headed to the hospital. We were finally checked in and settled into our room around 1:30 or 2. The doctor came in to see me (honestly, this doctor was amazing. He made me feel so comfortable at every appointment and I never felt in the dark and he listened to my concerns and really, was just so much better than my first doctor) and jokingly said "that was a pretty awesome blood pressure you came in with!" He then said that even though all the tests came back negative for preeclampsia, he wasn't comfortable letting me walk around with my blood pressure so high. Things were pretty slow going until about 7:00 or so. I had sent Darrell to his school class because nothing was happening and I didn't want him missing class for nothing. He usually got done between 8:30 and 9 and was close enough that if something did happen he could get to me really fast. By 7:45 I requested an epidural which was lovely and then I got a little extra shot of pain medication at about 8:20. I fell asleep, which was so, so nice. At 8:45 I woke up because suddenly I couldn't hear the babies heartbeat on the monitor and my nurse came in just a minute later. Baby had dropped! She checked me again and I was at a 7! I texted Darrell to let him know what was happening and the nurse said it was time to call the doctor! WHAT?! Darrell got to the hospital just before the doctor did and suddenly it was go time! Baby girl was ready to come. I pushed for 10 minutes, maybe and on the last push the doctor almost didn't catch her! She was here and perfect and healthy. And things were not so confusing. And even though I needed some stitches, the doctor still kept everything feeling happy and light. It was just so different than the first time around. The handed my baby girl to me and I realized that we still had to decide what we wanted to call her! We had decided that we like either Norah Jane or Wren Marie. And I had no idea. Finally Darrell whispered to me that he liked Norah and so thats the name we announced to our parents. Little Norah Jane. 

Now that she is here, she is wonderful. Such a good baby. So sweet and snuggly. A little grumpy sometimes but for the most part so happy and content. Liam is slowly warming up to her, he finally said, about a week after she was born, "I love Norah" and then gave her is glow-worm that he had when he was a baby. It was very sweet. 

Baby Purple and things Liam says.

So since we found out that baby #2 is on the way, we've tried to get Liam comfortable with the idea. Or to even grasp the idea. Or acknowledge that we are talking to him about it. And usually it goes pretty poorly

Me: "Liam, can we bring a new baby home to live with us?"
Liam: "I don't want that here."

Me: "Liam, when we bring the baby home, where will it sleep?"
Liam: Looks at his bed, "No, MY BED."
Me: "okay, but where will the baby sleep?"
Liam: "On the floor."

Me: "Liam, what should we call the baby when we bring it home?"
Liam: "On the phone!"

So he doesn't get it (and I didn't really expect him to) and on those rare occasions when it seems like he does, he's pretty negative about the whole thing. Only just recently did he start to seem excited about it, like when I'd ask him he'd say "and they play with my trains with me?" So hopefully.... eh, I don't know what that means.

Well, the other night as I was putting him to bed, I asked Liam if he thought we would be having a girl baby or a boy baby. He got very thoughtful and looked up and the ceiling and then said with a big smile and an authoritative nod of his head "a purple baby!". I even tried asking him again and he answered the same. He'll pretty consistently tell us that it is a purple baby, so that's what we've decided to call baby this time around. Liam was baby Harold, and this one is baby Purple. I like it.

This whole time I've been pregnant, I thought this baby was a girl. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much, obviously there's a 50/50 chance right? Its just that the whole time I was pregnant with Liam, I just knew he was a boy. Before we found out I knew. I didn't even imagine to think of girl things or girl names because that baby was just a boy. I wanted a girl. So bad.  But I knew he'd be a boy. And the ultrasound proved that right. And we love him! SUCH a sweet and wonderful boy.

BUT.

My last pregnancy, I'm pretty sure it was a girl and I tearfully told Darrell that I was just certain that it was a girl and that was probably going to be my only chance to have one.

And then I got pregnant, and I pretty quickly had that "girl" feeling return. People asked what we wanted, and I could honestly answer that I would be happy with either boy or girl. But I always felt like it was probably a girl.

Well at my last Dr. appointment, my doctor asked me slyly "so do you feel her moving?" and then said "cause you know, I think its a girl." He preceded to ask if we were planning on finding out what it is, we are, and if I wanted to go find out right now! "there's no one in the ultrasound office". I told him no, I had to wait for my husband. I was pretty proud of my restraint! But by the end of the appointment we concluded that we needed to set up an ultrasound to check dates and so I would be heading back in the next week.

The morning arrived and we had the appointment. The tech asked if we wanted to find out the sex to which we answered yes! And lo and behold, its a girl!! Liam was pretty enthralled by the heartbeat and likes to tell me that he heard the baby and we are so excited to be welcoming a little girl into our family!

I just want to write down a couple of the things that have been going on so I can remember them later:

• I am 19 weeks 
• I've gained 4 lbs
• I constantly want salad, baked potatoes or sushi (cooked for this mamma)
• I finally felt this baby moving last night and then all morning

We're pretty excited about this, and now we get to start deciding on a name! Hooray!

A list.

just a little peak at my my life :

1. "watch me put on make up mom" 2. love this face 3. looking dapper on mothers day 4. those curls!! 5. "drink please?" 6. baby mischief  7.orange pants 8. favorite flowers from husband

Today

Today my little baby boy (will he ever stop being my baby? Probably not) woke up cover head to toe in soaking wet pee-pee clothes. Quite impressive for a thing his size. I cleaned him all up and whisked him into bed with me (which was vacated by husband a few hours earlier because of work). We cuddled and then I noticed something happening. He was falling asleep! My wiggly, curious, busy, sweet, busy, happy, busy boy was falling asleep. Next to me. In bed!!! These things just don't happen very often people! This boy has stolen my heart.

There are times when I look at my life and all I can think is how wonderful it is. I have a husband who loves me and baby boy I love more than I ever though was possible. What joy he brings to my life. Every. Single. Day. The wonder he has for everything is amazing for me to see. I think of how big he is getting and how fast he is growing up and I can't help but be incredibly sad. I will miss him as a baby. Dragging tools into the bathroom because that is where he watched us use tools. Sitting on the ground holding a book and muttering to himself while "reading". Whispering, who knows what, to himself as he wanders around leaving a trail of stuff behind him. Those little messes, everywhere, that I clean up every single day. Sometimes twice a day. His sweet little hands while he is sleeping. Warm and soft and wonderful. His chubby cheeks that bounce when he walks. His perfectly happy personality. How silly he is, teasing and laughing and sneaking around. I can't bear to think of it all leaving.

But then I think of the things that are coming. Talking, riding bikes, throwing balls (and dirt and grass and leaves, ooh my!) Discovering bugs (and me discovering them in his pockets and room, oh boy). My baby boy growing up into a big boy and then a big man, and I hope, oh I hope, that he will still love his mamma, and give me hugs and kisses. Even when he is a big boy.

What a crazy and miraculous thing this being a parent is. I'm so blessed to have this boy in my life. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

dear everyone

my baby is a boy.

i know, i know, he has long hair. long curly hair. ringlets. i know. i get it, its adorable hair.

hair that you would want (dream) for any little girl to have.

my  child, however is a boy.

i try to emphasize this by dressing him in "boy" colors, you know, green, grey, blue...

i have resigned myself to the very real possibility that if and hopefully when i do have a girl, she will probably be bald.


so thank you, kind older lady and sweet baby loving men, thank you for telling me my baby is such a beautiful girl, but he is a boy.  and his curls will stay until i'm ready to get rid of them.

a little trip!!!! and a sick baby :(

about a month ago, i went to moab with my mom and sisters. it was lots of fun!

Also today, I sat Liam in his chair in the kitchen and I was in my room getting a few things done and when I walked back to check on him I found this:

Poor little thing is getting a cold (again!) and just couldn't stay awake one second longer! Love this little boy!

a curly haired boy and his curly haired mamma

Oh how I love this curly haired boy :)

Darrell took Liam to the zoo with his sister and her kids. Apparently Liam loved the monkeys! I'm so sad I missed his first zoo trip. I guess we'll be heading back there soon!!!

A Birthday Boy!!!

Can you even believe that it has been one whole year since I had little boy?

I can't.

I can't even imagine what life would be like without him.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, (sorry love, you're pretty great too... but you've got some competition is all...)

Happy Birthday angel baby! I love you!