lesson

so yesterday around one in the afternoon i shockingly realized that i hadn't felt little baby move since the day before. at this point thats a very strange thing and i, understandably got quite nervous. well, panicked might be the more appropriate description of what i did. full blown break down if we want to be more specific. anyway, i called the doctors office and the told me what to do and that i should get back to them. well, i followed said instructions and nothing. it was like i was suddenly a very chubby version of myself because there was no movement at all. so i went in to the office and they hooked me up to a machine to monitor babies heart rate in conjunction with his movements. well he failed that test. so they had me do an ultra sound where they would be looking for certain movements (breathing motions in chest, core body motions, neck and foot motions) and he failed that test too. for 30 minutes we got to look at this image of a baby with a heart beat but not much else going on. so the doctor came in for the end of the test and let me know that he wanted me to go upstairs to labor and delivery and stay the night so they could do a very extended version of the first test and then in the morning do another ultra sound and if nothing would change they would deliver the baby. he might as well have said "tonight we'll have a sleep over and tell stories and then in the morning we're going to go out and get some ice cream" Seriously like the biggest news he could just give me and it was like nothing more than any ordinary day. so upstairs we go and check into the hospital. well it was a very long long night. i probably slept 2 hours max and the rest of the time i spent stressing out. awesome. and about midnight silly kid got the hiccups and then didn't stop moving the rest of the night. so i felt like it was totally pointless for me to be there anyway. so about 8:30 in the morning me and husband head back downstairs to have the ultra sound and all i can think is that if baby stops moving now, i will be super mad. cause he'd pretty much been having his own little party in there all morning. luckily in like the first two minutes of the ultra sound he did every motion that he needed to. and the doctor showed up pretty quick (which was super nice cause it is his day off) and he lets me know that i did indeed do the right thing and come in and that he was going to be able to let me go home. so away we went, into the freezing cold morning.


so here's what i learned:

even though i haven't ever met this kid, i know nothing about him, he almost doesn't seem real... if anything were to happen to him and he didn't make it, i would be pretty devastated.

that being said, i am completely happy to let him hang out in me for as long as possible. i don't want him out yet, i am definitely not ready for that addition!

and no matter how much i complain and whine and grumble about little feet (cause we checked, they are his feet) pushing up into my rib cage, it is probably the best feeling in the whole entire world because i know that my little guy is doing exactly what he needs. living.