Day 7: Fears

At first I thought that there really isn't anything that I'm terribly afraid of but then in that same instant I found my biggest fear.

I am so terribly afraid that I won't have anymore children.

I got lucky and had one and that's going to be it for me.

I'm so worried and scared about it, in fact, that I've pretty much tried to put the idea of more children out of my mind.

And it makes me so sad.

And cry.

And ache inside because all I want in this whole world is for my beautiful, happy, funny, adventurous little boy to have is a little brother or sister (or both!) to share this world with.

I was pregnant once, after I had Liam. And excited. That little baby would have come home with us the end of last month, but it just wasn't their time to come. They were still needed elsewhere and I didn't get the privilege of caring for them. 

And I'm so afraid that it just won't happend again for me. 

I want it so much. 

But what if? 

That scares me the most.